Feeling chicken sh*t–What can I do about my first love?
My debate is about whether I contact my first love or not.
It’s been about 30 years since the last time we saw each other.
He could be married and have kids. He could be single. Or somewhere in between.
I feel like an inexperienced teenager again agonizing over little things.
In March, I requested to be Friends on Facebook and LinkedIn and he didn’t respond.
After having a series of dreams with him in them over a few nights I wrote him a message on Messenger. He’s not on Messenger so I don’t know if he read it. It was an apology for something that happened between us all those years ago. I really needed to get it off my chest. It was quite emotional and it may have unsettled him, but I really felt he deserved to know how I’d felt about him. I said in the message I’d love to hear from him, but I haven’t.
I’d love your input on this.
One of my guy friends says maybe he is my soulmate. OMG.
I’m not sure I believe in soulmates after all I’ve been through. I’m trying to, but it’s not easy. And I know it sounds kind of crazy, but I miss this guy. Even though I haven’t seen him for 30 years it’s as if he’s calling to me somehow.
Would it make any sense to look up his phone number and call him?
I admit the idea scares me, but I can’t shake this feeling that we still have a connection.
What would you do? Would you let it go? Would you call him?
Please, help me if you can. I’m feeling so stuck with this and I don’t want to miss an opportunity because I’m feeling chicken shit.